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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992978">would hell look like his stars?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8'>sunflower_8</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>kaimaki week 2020!! [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Baggage, Except Me And The Bois Is Just Maki, F/M, Me And The Bois Thinking Abt Death A Bit, Sad, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, like me, really fucking short</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:00:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>520</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992978</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>it still does exist, though, and it was only a matter of time before she had to face it. and so, she sits in the courtyard with her friend and crush, kaito momota, as she listens to him speak. although listen is a loose word, because her mind is elsewhere, the stories of space that she had heard a thousand times lacking the appeal that the atmosphere around her has, the feeling of his arm against hers as he stares on, obliviously.</p><p>she can’t tell if love is the most pleasant feeling or the worst kind of torture.</p><p>(or, a glimpse into maki's emotions as she faces an unrequited crush)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>kaimaki week 2020!! [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>would hell look like his stars?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>maki keeps a box of emotions in her heart, carefully labelled and sorted, maintaining order amidst the chaos of feelings and thoughts she tries to suppress. somewhere, she notes the existence of </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a particular sensation she prefers to hide below the favorable emotions of </span>
  <em>
    <span>anger </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>rage</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it still does exist, though, and it was only a matter of time before she had to face it. and so, she sits in the courtyard with her friend and crush, kaito momota, as she listens to him speak. although </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen</span>
  </em>
  <span> is a loose word, because her mind is elsewhere, the stories of space that she had heard a thousand times lacking the appeal that the atmosphere around her has, the feeling of his arm against hers as he stares on, obliviously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she can’t tell if love is the most pleasant feeling or the worst kind of torture.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘say, maki roll.’ kaito gives her a smile, and she gives him her attention with the feverance of gospel, looking into eyes that carry magnificence in their wake, magnificence she’s lucky to see. ‘what do you want more than anything in the world?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>you, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she yearns to say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>i just want you. i don’t care what i have to lose. as long as it isn’t you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>instead, maki suppresses her urges and looks to the cherry blossoms. every petal that falls free torments her, and she wishes he would do something impulsive like </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>and kiss her. but she knows, deep down, he is more important than the feelings that will kill her. so she simply lies and says, ‘for summer to come.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he doesn’t point out her lie or acknowledge that she loathes summer, loathes the break where she has nowhere to go, to hide. maybe he doesn’t even know. he just grins and says, ‘smart, maki roll!’ even if she is anything but. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she doesn’t care about summer, doesn’t care about </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, because that’s the person she is conditioned to be. but she cares about </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and that’s fascinating in the sickest way, that care for him isn’t twisted or complex, not self-serving in the way she knows she is. she cares for him because she wants to, and that terrifies her. she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, to open the box of emotions, to feel the rushing waves of longing for someone she could never have, someone who deserves a person with stars in their eyes and outstretched arms instead of an assassin who draws herself in to protect herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he deserves the world in his palms and the galaxy in his grasp, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and, after her sins, it’s more likely she deserves to leave the world, instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>would hell look like his stars? </span>
  </em>
  <span>she thinks selfishly, as if there’s any possible way to let herself love him, to be with him when she eventually joins the abyss she sent so many to. she knows she doesn’t deserve that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>so she looks at the cherry blossom trees with him, listens to his baritone voice, and wishes on every falling petal that looks </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly like her… </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>that she could fall out of love.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh my god this is the biggest disappointment of a start to a ship week EVER</p><p>i'm so so so sorry i was so unmotivated all day and then i did some rp stuff with some pals and then i got that depression juice and i just did nothing so this is so bad</p><p>anyway thank you to the people hosting kaimaki week!!! also side shout out to my frens who are encouraging me thru this journey of being a bad writer. love you all, excited to write for this week!!!</p><p>edit: I'M LITERALLY NO BRAIN the prompt for today was confession / yearning</p></blockquote></div></div>
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